Okay, I need to post this:
As if vag wasn’t scary enough, they had to add teeth to the mix! that’s just wrong. Can you imagine? “Oh, baby” *Penetration* *Pain* *Death* … ouch, no fun. I was telling my best friend about that (I was mostly joking with him about his and his girlfriend’s “waiting” policy) and he was, like, “Fuck that shit! I’m celibate from now on. No wonder you’re gay! Shit, I’m having second thoughts now.” Hah, there is a reason he’s my best friend. From there, we discussed the likelihood that I will ever have a one-nighter with Anderson Cooper (we agreed that if I can get him alone, it’s practically guaranteed).
I met this guy a little while ago and we went on a date in Berkeley. Now I get to the awkward part of my story. While we were on our date he would not shut up about any of his exes. I heard about how one thing or another that I did reminded me of one of his exes. This led me to believe one of two things: 1. He’s not over his exes and I’m just there to look pretty while he reminisces or, 2. He’s hinting (on the first date!) that he expects us to become a couple. I don’t care to be ignored while the guy remembers boy friend’s past [passed ... whatever] and I DEFINITELY don’t intend to be in a relationship. So, since then, he has texted me quite a bit and I have been giving back the shortest, most curt, slightly cold responses that I can give without seeming mean. I’m trying to figure out which is least cruel but most effective in getting the guy to back off: keep giving the short, curt, slightly cold responses that I have been giving, completely ignore him, or tell him to his face that I am not interested in him. Each of them has their own advantage. If I give the short, curt, slightly cold response it means that I am not being cruel but it could be mistaken for leading the guy on if he doesn’t get the hint. Completely ignoring him is the most effective way of getting him to back off and the most cruel. Telling him to his face is just as effective as ignoring him but infinitely more awkward and could leave some bad blood (not that ignoring him would be a clean break, but whatevs). MORAL DECISIONS!!!
I was out with friends last night and after partaking in things that are probably illegal we went to IHOP and ate soooo much. It was so much fun, though! It was me, Z, D, K, and S and we were talking to our waitress who could only laugh at us and she gave us free pancakes for making her laugh so much. I LOVE IHOP.
I think I need a sugar daddy. Seriously, I need the sex and the money and older guys can be HOT. Think (of course) Anderson Cooper, Dennis Quaid YUMYUMMY
Now that I am totally turned on, it’s time for bed.
Adieu, Adieu, parting is such sweet sorrow.

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